Bodycon brought me body confidence | Here’s why

The real BodyCon

Body-conscious, body confident, sometimes we’re one way, sometimes we’re another and at times we are own worst enemy because the real body con comes from ourselves.

I’ve been thinking about body con a lot recently. Partly because it’s that time in the year where I start to think about packing away the winter stuff and bringing out the Spring gear. Too soon? Perhaps, considering the current weather, but I’m ever the optimist! It’s when I have a bit of a clear out and start trying on the clothes I haven’t seen for a year and deciding what to keep or ditch – or what I need to buy.  I wrote a post on ways to declutter your wardrobe that I was thrilled that you really embraced and used, too!

Something I have been very actively working on is building my confidence to feel more like me. Part of that is feeling less self-conscious and wearing more of my wardrobe and the clothes I would have loved pre-baby.

Why? Because I’ve realised that sometimes what you wear or daring to wear what you want can be so powerful! And whilst you can’t really buy confidence, you can sometimes help it along with things you can buy.

I definitely found some in this dress.

It was the one that I favourited, then told myself it wouldn’t look great on me…but kept going back to. Because I love detailed design – I even have a Pinterest board called just that.

So, I kept admiring the detail in the lace and was really drawn to the colour, even though it’s not one I often wear. But, that length,  could I actually wear it?

Let me let you into behind the scenes at Kitty and B. Sometimes I have a blog post in mind, I write it, then take the pictures and that’s the (hugely simplified) process. Other times, like this one, I had the dress, but it wasn’t until I put it on and took some pictures that I knew what I  was going to write. Because, I won’t lie, I wasn’t expecting to feel what I did when I put it on and when I saw the pictures. I liked them. And I liked me in them, that is not something I say often!

Don’t get me wrong, I love tailoring and form-skimming clothes and they way they can enhance and flatter.  Yet still, I kept scrolling through the pictures on the Tobi website thinking how much I loved it, but I just couldn’t choose it. Until, in the end, I just thought, what the hey, it’s coming home to me,  I’m sure it will look great when I’ve toned up and…! You know the drill.

It’s that body con that’s the problem, the one convincing you that you shouldn’t. So now I’m saying to heck with that con. I really don’t need that kind of negativity in my life!

bodycon

Tobi Rose LacePerspex and Rose Gold Shoes

In the mirror

I know you’re not supposed to draw attention to your least favourite parts, but I’m going to share with you anyway! I like being and feeling strong, which I why I love weights so much. I’m not looking to add bulk, but I love the tone, definition and the strength (mental and physical) I get from lifting weights.

I am so happy that after my hernia op I can now get back down to business (in fact I just posted some cold weather fitness motivation tips). But, during my fitness hiatus, my legs and I have seen a distinct frostiness forming in our admittedly rocky friendship! I tend not show my bare legs below the knee and cover up them as much as I can (even on the beach!). Particularly when I’m not feeling strong. The reason being that extra muscle tone also helps to minimise the look of my cellulite. The cellulite which is something that I personally feel very self-conscious about.

But, back to that body con. I look at these pictures and I feel like in this dress my legs look OK. Not too shabby, not the horrible nobbly, bobbly affairs I had in my mind. Just saying that is something that feels alien to me to think let alone write, so I almost didn’t!

However,  I want to say it and I want to write it. Why? Because it’s affirmed to me that sometimes trying what you like, despite that inner voice, pays off. Sometimes what your mind tells you isn’t actually the reality. And that sometimes something as seemingly insignificant as the right dress can leave you feeling like a million dollars and can help you change that mindset.

No con!

How to wear bodycon

For some of my tips on how to wear bodycon, here are the things I recommend:

Know your strengths

It’s always more comfortable to play to your strengths –  ordinarily, I would show arms and collarbone and cover legs. So, find a length you like and a body part you love and accentuate those aspects. BUT,  don’t forget to try out something new once in a while, like I did with this dress.

Create a solid foundation

The right foundation helps make whatever is on top look its best. I always say what you wear under is just as important as what goes over. You’ve often heard me talk about shapewear – possibly with a passion verging on fanaticism! It’s been surplus to requirements for this dress, but shapewear helps me to feel more confident and helps what I’m wearing look its best on me.

You don’t have to be trussed up in Spanx, it can be a simple as a slip to help smooth and disguise any lines and VPL.

Fabric is always key for me. I tend to prefer heavier fabrics (preferably lined like this dress) for form-fitting or bodycon clothing. Again, it helps what you’re wearing ‘hang’ and look better.

Learn your lines

Learning which cuts are most flattering to your shape goes a long way. Personally, I love the way a high waistband skims over the tummy and slims the waist. The very deliberate detailing of the fabric on this dress also creates a really flattering silhouette and effect. So, use detail to play up and play down the parts you want to.

Be Inspired

There are so many examples out there now of so many different shaped and differently sized women rocking every type of look and wearing it well. I follow them, I like their pictures, I am regularly inspired. But, ultimately what they’re doing is just being themselves and making whatever style it is fit them. Find your body and style twin and look to them for inspiration.

Go forth and wear it!

Wouldn’t it be great if we all just wore what we liked? I mean the things we actually like, rather what we tell ourselves we should wear!

For some positivity and style,  I highly recommend Catherine and her blog Not Dressed as Lamb, which celebrates the fact we should just wear what we like. Pop along to her weekly #iwillwearwhatilike link up and you’ll see women in all shapes, ages and sizes just, you know,  wearing what they like! Or, search the hashtag #mumsthatslay on Instagram for some mums, that, well, slay their outfits!

In the meantime, I’m prompted to try some more styles I’ve avoided for a while. If they don’t work, no problem, but there’s no harm in having fun mixing things up!  But, I feel like I’m more motivated and empowered to do that than I have for some time.

Tobi Rose LacePerspex and Rose Gold Shoes

How about you, is there anything you’d love to wear, but don’t. Or, do you just wear what you like, no matter what? I’d love to know.

The Dress is c/o Shop Tobi and currently has 50% off. For reference, it’s in size XS. I’m 5’2.5″ and UK 6.

The dress featured was kindly sent by Tobi.

22 Comments

  1. March 20, 2018 / 9:52 am
    I love what you say here about body con. I turn 40 very soon and have so many thoughts about what I should and shouldn’t wear ‘at my age’. You honestly look amazing - the delicate colour and intricate pattern are beautiful.
    • March 20, 2018 / 10:01 am
      I’m only a couple of years behind you, but don’t feel like it at all. In fact I shock myself when I remember! 😬 Honestly check out Not Dressed as Lamb, her blog and her style and the women you’ll discover there will really inspire you to care less and enjoy more! I promise! 😘
    • March 23, 2018 / 9:33 am
      Thanks Cathryn! Yes, absolutely, I’m only a couple of years behind you and it’s hard not to fall into that trap sometimes. Honestly, check out Not Dressed as Lamb and the link up. I’d love to see some of your looks there! 😘
  2. March 20, 2018 / 1:54 pm
    Whereas you look absolutely amazing, I would look like an absolute muppet in a bodycon dress. Do love the design and colour though, you are rocking it! Sim x
    • March 23, 2018 / 9:32 am
      Aww, Beth, thank you! I could cry at the lovely comments! 😘
  3. March 20, 2018 / 3:03 pm
    Wow that looks amazing! I've always been quite slim but 12 weeks post baby I'm not daring enough yet! I still have many dresses hanging in the wardrobe with tags on as I haven't braved them yet!
    • March 23, 2018 / 9:31 am
      Thanks Marie! I definitely wouldn’t have braved this 12 weeks post partum - I wasn’t ready then. I felt ok, but my body did not feel like it was mine at all! 😂. But, I would say to start having a look at those dresses you’ve got. I had one that I bought specifically for going back to work. Felt so great when I put it on on my first day back - despite the tears at leaving B! 😘x
  4. March 21, 2018 / 10:45 am
    First of all, you've got a banging body so of course you look amazing in that dress! But we all have confidence issues regardless, so I'm glad you found your happiness with it and I love the tips at the end xxx
    • March 23, 2018 / 9:26 am
      Thanks so much. I love it and the lovely comments like this make me want to wear it everyday! 😂 Glad you found this useful - I’m really glad I shared! xx
  5. March 21, 2018 / 8:10 pm
    You look amazing and I am in LOVE with your dress, it’s beautiful! I don’t really wear body con because I don’t have that much confidence but I’d tell that confidence to get lost for this dress, it’s stunning xx
    • March 23, 2018 / 9:24 am
      Haha, yes Wendy! I honestly think we should try some things that scare us once in a while. Go for it! 😉x
  6. March 21, 2018 / 9:43 pm
    Wow you look fantastic in that dress, the colour is so pretty and the detail is really unusual
    • March 23, 2018 / 9:23 am
      Thanks so much! The detail is what kept making me go back to it. I love it! x
  7. March 21, 2018 / 11:40 pm
    You look absolutely gorgeous! It's good to get rid of any negativity in your life. Well done you. Jenni recently posted...Review: Dinosaur Lotto GameMy Profile
    • March 23, 2018 / 9:22 am
      Absolutely Jenni and thank you! x
  8. March 23, 2018 / 5:58 am
    You look incredible! I think it will be a while before I am wearing something like that! I am 11 weeks postpartum and it seem a million miles away 😂😂
  9. bn100
    April 1, 2018 / 3:30 am
    nice tips to share
    • April 9, 2018 / 9:42 am
      Thank you. Glad you liked them x
  10. Tracy Nixon
    April 1, 2018 / 8:34 pm
    You look gorgeous! I am a huge fan of body con dresses and I find they give me confidence too x
  11. Jeanette Leighton
    April 15, 2018 / 7:44 pm
    You look lovely in this dress it really suits you
  12. Tee Simpson
    April 15, 2018 / 9:28 pm
    Wow you look stunning. That colour is lovely on you too

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